I really love Autumn. I love the colours, the fact it's cooler weather, the awesome damp vegetation smell you only get this time of year, the way the sunlight seems golden and misty all the time. Basically I love the whole thing. One of the best bits of driving DS1 to work every day is seeing the leaves turn more Autumny every day, the colours are stunning. I also get an amazing view of distant hills and trees at one bit that is life affirming. I am so blessed to live in such a lovely part of the world and get to experience Autumn every year.
I realise that's all a bit gushing but there is lots in my life that is less than good so its nice to have something that's so good and clean! DD is still deteriorating, her doctors appointment went well and she is finally getting some meds to help her nausea. She will also be getting some new pain meds but needs to reduce the dose of her current pain meds first, not easy as she is in permanent pain. We are filling in paperwork to get me power of attorney for her if she needs medical treatment and isn't capable of refusing. We need someone who isn't a member of the family to sign and I don't know anyone... that's a sad indictment of my life. Not that I would have asked J to sign even if i still saw her regularly, she has no boundaries and gets too involved in stuff that have nothing to do with her. She actually thought it was okay to tell DP and DS2 when she saw them recently that her son had been sacked for gross misconduct...I mean who shares that information!! Luckily DS1 has friend who knew DD when they were all in school who is more than happy to sign for us.
DS1 is still finding his job hard going physically especially the days he has to come home on the bus...it's and hour and a half on the bus and that's just hard. Still he is much happier in himself, I had been getting very concerned about his depression and was obviously more anxious about him getting a job than I realised. He is lucky but he really deserves it and it's such a good fit for him.
DS2 is struggling with working 3 days. it's so emotionally exhausting for him he is being less than kind at home. Hopefully it will settle down in time but it's not fun currently.
'D'P has been away with work this week and it's staggering how little he is missed by anyone. He has so little interaction with any of us that we just don't miss him. It's really sad though I doubt he would believe it if anyone told him, I get the impression he sees himself a the centre of our world...well he is well onto the narcissistic spectrum!
Not heard from either of my parents since DM phoned to say she's got her birthday present, I won't say 'thanked' as she was basically snarky and borderline unpleasant about the books I got. She is sooo predictable.
Update: well DD has been taking her new pain meds for a couple of weeks now and the difference is amazing, She is no longer in constant pain and with the nausea meds she also has she actually has a life again. It really is fantastic for her. Now we will need to sort getting her a new power chair....she had thought a manual chair would work as she went out so very rarely but with her new lease of life she is even thinking about going back to doing fashion post again. The difference having a doctor who actually listens is unbelievable!
Friday 18 October 2019
Saturday 5 October 2019
Life goes on
Well the summer is finally over, no more hot nights and lots and lots of rain! The weather over the summer was much better than last year, not as consistently hot but some record breaking hot days. We went over to Scarborough for the hottest day, we'd tried a couple of days earlier but had to come home as the wheel wobble was just too much to drive all that way with. We got to see three hares and an owl on our diversion so not all bad.
Scarborough was lovely, we got there good and early. DD got to paddle in the sea something she's been wanting to do for ages. Unfortunately she no longer remembers because she can no longer form long term memories, or only with real difficulty. Still we had a good day with lots of ice cream and really good fish and chips before coming home to endure the heat.
DD got out to Brimham Rocks one morning, it was very beautiful but way too much for DD, she has probably come to the end of her ability to go out. She has been flaring pretty much all the time for months now. She is in constant pain and is tired all the time.
Her room has been totally rearranged. Her cat was taking up so much of her bed, even though she is very little cat, that DD decided she's get her own profiling bed rather than the one we got through the NHS and then she could have a small double bed. Lots of space for her to stretch out and still lots of room for Ruth. Well the bed company make good beds but their customer service staff are not good...really shocked by how very poor they are, I had to totally tear a strip off them to get them to deliver the bed in a timely way. Left to their own devises we'd have had to wait another week or so without a doubt.
DD also got rid of her bookcase and her wardrobe and now just has a chest of drawers, she doesn't ever go out so doesn't really need clothes. In the course of the remodel she also acquired a fridge and a hot chocolate machine. Ruth also got a massive wall mounted cat tree which she totally ignores...the fridge and hot chocolate machine are much more used.
DS1 finally got a job!!!! Not only a job but something he is really happy doing, the firm is a small furniture maker. less than 10 staff including the owners and him, who make bespoke furniture. They are obviously successful enough as they are needing a bigger workshop which is good news for DS1 as he'll not be out of a job when they go bust. The only slight downside is that its a half hour drive in good traffic and over an hour and a half by bus, but who cares. It's a proper job he is actually excited to have. He was getting worryingly depressed by the end of the summer when all his efforts looking for work were ignored. This company didn't care he had no work history they just saw someone who had an interest and the skills they needed and was happy to do anything. DD writes a storming CV. DS1 had sent off a speculative CV to a number of furniture making firms in Leeds and this one found the right company just as they were thinking they needed a trainee. Couldn't be happier, I keep having to remind myself its real!
DS1 is soooo much happier and looks better, he was getting puffy and just looked ill all the time. He is suffering with carpel tunnel as his hands get used to using tools all day long but he's happy to cope as he is enjoying his days and very happy to have a job and not feel a failure.
DS2 is now doing three days a week and Revive. He is ambivalent about this a veers between wanting a job and being scared about having to do three days. He also worries about independence and having to pay bills. He will calm down but his behaviour has been horrendous some days, actually concerning with DS2 claiming he can be as violent as he wants with no consequences because he needs to 'get rid of his aggression'. Fortunately he seems to be calming down and is being nicer.
My parents continue to be the same as always. DM is still showing no signs of doing the decent thing and dying. She got her birthday present today and as expected my DF loved it and DM just had to say something snidy. She is so predictable and so bitchy. Luckily I have the perfect excuse not to see her and she isn't up to coming to Leeds to see us so its a win win for me.
DD has a doctors appointment for her prescription review on Monday and she is not looking forward to it, hopefully it won't be too hard for her. Going to the doctors is physically hard but also emotionally exhausting as doctors are just dismissive and uncaring, not a great combination.
'D'P is still here, keep hoping he'll either die, yes I am that nasty, or he'll have an affair and leave. Or we win the lottery and can afford to leave, however it happens getting away from him would be good, he's just not a pleasant person to be around and is sooo self absorbed, I honestly don't think he has any idea how little respect any of us have for him or how much we enjoy it when he's away.
Scarborough was lovely, we got there good and early. DD got to paddle in the sea something she's been wanting to do for ages. Unfortunately she no longer remembers because she can no longer form long term memories, or only with real difficulty. Still we had a good day with lots of ice cream and really good fish and chips before coming home to endure the heat.
DD got out to Brimham Rocks one morning, it was very beautiful but way too much for DD, she has probably come to the end of her ability to go out. She has been flaring pretty much all the time for months now. She is in constant pain and is tired all the time.
Her room has been totally rearranged. Her cat was taking up so much of her bed, even though she is very little cat, that DD decided she's get her own profiling bed rather than the one we got through the NHS and then she could have a small double bed. Lots of space for her to stretch out and still lots of room for Ruth. Well the bed company make good beds but their customer service staff are not good...really shocked by how very poor they are, I had to totally tear a strip off them to get them to deliver the bed in a timely way. Left to their own devises we'd have had to wait another week or so without a doubt.
DD also got rid of her bookcase and her wardrobe and now just has a chest of drawers, she doesn't ever go out so doesn't really need clothes. In the course of the remodel she also acquired a fridge and a hot chocolate machine. Ruth also got a massive wall mounted cat tree which she totally ignores...the fridge and hot chocolate machine are much more used.
DS1 finally got a job!!!! Not only a job but something he is really happy doing, the firm is a small furniture maker. less than 10 staff including the owners and him, who make bespoke furniture. They are obviously successful enough as they are needing a bigger workshop which is good news for DS1 as he'll not be out of a job when they go bust. The only slight downside is that its a half hour drive in good traffic and over an hour and a half by bus, but who cares. It's a proper job he is actually excited to have. He was getting worryingly depressed by the end of the summer when all his efforts looking for work were ignored. This company didn't care he had no work history they just saw someone who had an interest and the skills they needed and was happy to do anything. DD writes a storming CV. DS1 had sent off a speculative CV to a number of furniture making firms in Leeds and this one found the right company just as they were thinking they needed a trainee. Couldn't be happier, I keep having to remind myself its real!
DS1 is soooo much happier and looks better, he was getting puffy and just looked ill all the time. He is suffering with carpel tunnel as his hands get used to using tools all day long but he's happy to cope as he is enjoying his days and very happy to have a job and not feel a failure.
DS2 is now doing three days a week and Revive. He is ambivalent about this a veers between wanting a job and being scared about having to do three days. He also worries about independence and having to pay bills. He will calm down but his behaviour has been horrendous some days, actually concerning with DS2 claiming he can be as violent as he wants with no consequences because he needs to 'get rid of his aggression'. Fortunately he seems to be calming down and is being nicer.
My parents continue to be the same as always. DM is still showing no signs of doing the decent thing and dying. She got her birthday present today and as expected my DF loved it and DM just had to say something snidy. She is so predictable and so bitchy. Luckily I have the perfect excuse not to see her and she isn't up to coming to Leeds to see us so its a win win for me.
DD has a doctors appointment for her prescription review on Monday and she is not looking forward to it, hopefully it won't be too hard for her. Going to the doctors is physically hard but also emotionally exhausting as doctors are just dismissive and uncaring, not a great combination.
'D'P is still here, keep hoping he'll either die, yes I am that nasty, or he'll have an affair and leave. Or we win the lottery and can afford to leave, however it happens getting away from him would be good, he's just not a pleasant person to be around and is sooo self absorbed, I honestly don't think he has any idea how little respect any of us have for him or how much we enjoy it when he's away.
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