Well DS2 got his pot taken off and his foot seems to have healed fine. He's not got any pain and is incredibly happy to be back in normal shoes and able to go to football and the gym and wander round to Morrison's for snacks! The hospital appointment to check his foot was horrific... with NHS levels of incompetence they managed to have 3 of the 4 doctors who should have been there on holiday at the same time! I just can't comprehend that level of stupidity...anyway it meant that there was a delay of 4.5+ hours!! Only the NHS could be that incompetent I was not impressed. They were offering people the chance to rebook for next week, not sure how that would help as it would just push the problem on to an overbooked session the following week. Anyway DS2 was prepared to wait as he just wanted his foot back.
The hall is pretty nearly finished being decorated...the stairs desperately need a second coat, you can really tell that I was barely functional when I painted the first coat, but it all looks soooo much cleaner and fresher, it really had got way beyond needing to be redone. The new carpet comes next week and then we just need to wait for the new stairlift and we're all done.
Staggeringly enough DP managed to avoid being affected by the work by pissing off. He was out 'getting his car serviced' when we had our first big day working... he managed to be out for most of the day. He then arranged to stay over in Manchester for work...the first time he has ever stayed over in Manchester...so managed to escape all the work as we did a major push painting all the woodwork. I'm not saying it wasn't easier with him out of the house because it really was but it's the entitlement of thinking he's sooo important he doesn't need to be involved in menial work like decorating. He is also really stupid and actually asked if he should hang up his jacket...that would have been touching wet paint!!! The fact that everything else had been taken out of the hall escaped his notice!
I am also pissed off with his total lack of interest in DS2 when we got back from our marathon hospital vist...he utterly ignored the fact we'd been to get his foot checked...fairly important stuff and just whittered on about himself. I am slightly concerned he is beginning to experience some form of cognitive decline...his behaviour is getting increasingly off, not enough to fully describe but just feels increasingly odd, even for him.
He has yet to mention all the decorating that's been done, not even a comment about how clean it looks. Not sure if he's just stupid and can't see it or so self absorbed that as it's not about him he's not interested...who knows, or really cares! But it annoys me more than anything he's done for years...I think because I would like a partner who actually noticed me and appreciated all the work I do. I've been reading a thread about things narcissistic mothers have said, and while my DM wasn't a great mum she's not in the same league as so many of the mums on the thread, but I still has a childhood where I was invisible and it's painful. The kids all see me...but they see 'mum' rather than 'me'... which is the way it's supposed to be and I am so proud of how fantastic they are .... they all worked sooo hard with the decorating, DS1 even took time off work and DS2 was brilliant. DD kept wanting to do more, but was struggling to stand, but kept sorting deliveries of donuts and drinks...she is a total star!
Also telling that my DF who I tend to phone on a Thursday evening didn't take the time to phone me, then or later, when I was too exhausted to phone him after all the painting.
Update: well when DF finally phoned on the Sunday and I tried to tell him all the work we'd been doing he just talked over me and whittered on about the jobs he's wanting to get done...so he heard what I said but just ignored me to move on to talk about him. It was incredibly hurtful....he can tell me what my DB is doing and all about DB's MIL but I would be staggered if he has any idea about my life at all.
He phoned a couple of times the week later to ask of DP had got off safely...he's in France visiting his mum...so he knows what DP is doing but has no interest in me... I should be used to it, and I kind of am, but it still hurts. I feel pathetic as a nearly 60 year old still wanting my parent to care about me. Well it's not going to happen, makes it easier when DF needs care as he gets older... he can ask someone who gives a damn...and that sure as Hell won't be me.
