Well 2016 has already proved to be less than good. DD was flaring from Xmas and all the stress that was associated with that...DP being home for 12 days being a major source of stress for all of us! DS2 being off College for 3 weeks was also exhausting as he gets silly and bored at home. He was also obsessive about getting a screen for his PS2, that 'Santa' got as an extra Xmas pressie, which was beyond hard work! Anyway as a finale to her flare DD had Norovirus so we had a week of vomiting and shitting bile...not fun. She was very poorly indeed and the second night I didn't bother getting undressed as I was under no illusions I'd get any sleep...I didn't...and I also didn't fancy rushing to get dressed if I had to phone for an ambulance! Anyway DD survived and is slowly, very slowly, picking up. Though 2 weeks on she still gets tired very easily and is still suffering with mild depression after being so ill. What a great start to the year!
DP was a total arse when DD was ill...he asked after her ONCE...the night after she was vomiting constantly. Other than that he didn't mention her at all. He and DS2 went round to a friends and DS2 mentioned how ill DD was but DP said nothing...he is such a crap parent and indeed a crap person. How he squares his behaviour up with his highly inflated opinion of his amazingness I do not know but I am sure he does as he still worships himself.
Social Services have FINALLY sorted DS2 being moved over to adult services, about time he will be 18 in 4 months....they have been 'sorting' this for well over a year! Too many departments and committees all wanting to be involved. Anyway I now have a pile of paperwork I have to wade through, including such delights as a 'community connections map'...I despise such crap wording. Its there to make people feel important and clever and its so pathetic. Paperwork for the sake of paperwork always makes my blood boil and this all seems such a waste of time...I have been caring for DS2 for 11 years and now have to wade through a morass of waffy paperwork to get approved to continue doing what I have been doing for years...I think that pretty much defines 'pointless paperwork'. I have sorted most of it and will get the rest done but I resent having to jump through hoops to do a job that no one else wants to do and which no one wants me to stop doing.
DS2 has also had an overly exciting start to the year. He was getting a load of texts and voice mail messages from a couple of the other students at College. We deleted them and blocked the numbers. One in particular was very inappropriate, lots of 'I love you' messages and sexual stuff. As it was over the holidays I didn't email College about it but did tell DS2 to stay away from the people involved. Well obviously he didn't and when one of them offered him the chance to go off and have a snog and grope he was only too happy to go...even though he ostensibly has a girlfriend...he is such a 17 year old boy, all hormones and no brain! Anyway the other student decided after the snog that she was upset and went to complain to a member of staff...they told me but weren't too bothered as it had been mutual. Her parents though decided to go nuclear and phoned the Police...apparently they have done this previously, they must be nutty! As a result DS2 was off College for over a week while it was all sorted out, not because he was in trouble but to stop him being wrongly accused of anything in future. Unfortunately DS2 didn't see it this way he saw - off College= big punishment= I have done something really bad. He was incredibly stressed and worried he was in trouble with the Police, College would be cross with him, no one would like him when he went back and so on. He was having problems sleeping...he came to see me at 2.30am...he had back ache and stomach ache that were totally caused by the stress. Fortunately he went back to College in time to share a box of sweets to celebrate his 11th anniversary which pleased him and once he saw he wasn't in trouble and everyone still liked him he was fine, but it was very hard while he was off.
Other than that its not been a dreadful January...no snow or ice which is good. No massive stress over money which is unusual in the extreme, but pleasant! We are sorting to get a stair lift for DD as she is finding stairs increasing hard. I mentioned this to my parents...not a good idea. DF was all 'I will give you the money now, I will do ANYTHING to make life easier for DGD'...he has said similar before and then back tracked so I don't trust it, but he feels good saying it. DM has been stressed in case I do take up the offer as she feels any money should be spent on her and why is anyone paying attention to someone else's illness when they should be focussing on her. I ignore as much as possible and will, eventually, learn to tell them nothing!
I am hoping the year improves but I've no great hopes. I'd love to be proved wrong!
Update: well the year is not improving. The Police decided after DS2 had been back in College and calming down again that he shouldn't be in College until they could get their act together and have a 'meeting'. Given no one has spoken to either me or DS2's Social Worker about the ...decidedly minor...incident I am not sure what the Police are doing and who they think they are protecting. God they make Social Service look efficient! To make it worse the person (not) dealing with the situation issued her orders about DS2 not being in College then went off work for 4 days! I am soo unbelievably angry about the situation, the damage its doing to DS2 is unbelievable and so unnecessary. He and the other person involved in the incident were happily playing dominos on Thursday so she is hardly traumatised by it all....but DS2 is now massively traumatised! What a sh*t situation.
Update 2: well I finally managed to speak to the person who is 'dealing' with the incident and she was not prepared to give me any information...like 'how long will it take to resolve the situation?'...it looks as though we could be talking about months rather than weeks. I cannot begin to express how horrible the situation is. DS2 is beyond anxious and is stressing madly. This is pushing DD to her limits and she is in extreme amounts of pain and totally exhausted, this is so damaging to her and is likely to have a permanent effect on her health. DP is being utterly disengaged from it all...quelle surprise! I had to tell him about it all as DS2 was not able to stop talking about it and even DP might notice that something was wrong when DS2 was off College for an extended period of time. I will be contacting the Police again on Monday...its Saturday now...hopefully they can speed up their game and get it sorted sooner rather than later...I am not sure how much longer DD or DS2 can cope with the stress!
Saturday 30 January 2016
Sunday 3 January 2016
Into the New Year
This is the last day before life gets back to what counts as normal in this house. DP is back to work tomorrow and we are all very pleased about that...he has been sooo bored all holiday and has done absolutely nothing. He couldn't even escape to the gym because it was closed various times because of the holidays. He watched lots of TV and spent weird amounts of time on Facebook but that's pretty much all he's done all holiday.
The Sunday after Xmas DS2, DP and I went over to my parents as DB and his wife were there for the day. DD was too poorly to leave the house and even if, by some miracle, she had felt up to doing something visiting her GPs wouldn't have been even close to top of her list. DS1 stayed to look after DD as he has the same views about GPs that DD has...I would happily have stayed but that wasn't on the cards at all. The day was ok I guess...nothing too offensive was said, though my DF said...more than once...how nice it was to have 'the whole family' round the table. Given DD and DS1 weren't there and DB1 died over 25 years ago it was tactless even by DF's normal standards. I spent much of the day washing up...well it got me out of the way and was infinitely preferable to spending time with DM who was being even more offensive and disagreeable than normal. DS2 noticed how loud and rude she was...normally he doesn't register her behaviour. She is not a nice person...and is almost certainly smoking again...what a twat.
Other than that its been a case of enduring the holiday period until DP pisses off back to work. Probably the most boring, endless Xmas ever.
DD is extremely tired after the holiday period...DS2 has been more than normally hard work, partly having DP home and partly he struggles with any change in routine. He has also been waiting...very impatiently for a screen he ordered on 26th December to arrive so he can have a PS2 in his room...something he is mega excited about.
DD got a new ipad and iphone over Xmas...we have been saving for the ipad as her old one has been showing its age. The new one is noticeably lighter as well which should help her. The new phone was possible because she could upgrade her old phone on her sim contract...she is pleased with them both even if setting them both up was hard work. DS1 was happy as he got a pile of tech to take to CEX and got enough cash to pay for his next batch of tattooing.
I had planned to take him up to Middlesbrough to his tattooist but DD was just too poorly to cope on her own so DP took him...DS was not impressed especially as it gave DP permission to take too much interest in his tattoos...DP was taking photos on his phone so he could show 'people'. Creepy or what...especially as he has no connection to any of his children, he just wants to be able to talk about them as though he knows them.
As you can probably tell I am not over fond of DP and would be happy if he dropped down dead...or found the love of life and left us, I'm not fussed just as long as he left!
I have been finding the level of eating I was easily maintaining before Xmas impossible to do so have been putting on a 1lb a day according to my scales. Obviously I've not put on anything like that as I'm still not eating masses but the way my body works I am quite prepared to believe I can put on serious weight at a level that would count as an extreme diet for a normal person... I will get the eating back under control once life gets back to normal as I do like loosing weight and my smaller body. I haven't any other 'resolutions' for 2016...what I want isn't going to happen...DD plateauing if not getting better, DS2 calming down and gaining some independence, DP pissing and leaving me in peace, DM dying...as I say non of them are going to happen so I will just keep on keeping on.
The Sunday after Xmas DS2, DP and I went over to my parents as DB and his wife were there for the day. DD was too poorly to leave the house and even if, by some miracle, she had felt up to doing something visiting her GPs wouldn't have been even close to top of her list. DS1 stayed to look after DD as he has the same views about GPs that DD has...I would happily have stayed but that wasn't on the cards at all. The day was ok I guess...nothing too offensive was said, though my DF said...more than once...how nice it was to have 'the whole family' round the table. Given DD and DS1 weren't there and DB1 died over 25 years ago it was tactless even by DF's normal standards. I spent much of the day washing up...well it got me out of the way and was infinitely preferable to spending time with DM who was being even more offensive and disagreeable than normal. DS2 noticed how loud and rude she was...normally he doesn't register her behaviour. She is not a nice person...and is almost certainly smoking again...what a twat.
Other than that its been a case of enduring the holiday period until DP pisses off back to work. Probably the most boring, endless Xmas ever.
DD is extremely tired after the holiday period...DS2 has been more than normally hard work, partly having DP home and partly he struggles with any change in routine. He has also been waiting...very impatiently for a screen he ordered on 26th December to arrive so he can have a PS2 in his room...something he is mega excited about.
DD got a new ipad and iphone over Xmas...we have been saving for the ipad as her old one has been showing its age. The new one is noticeably lighter as well which should help her. The new phone was possible because she could upgrade her old phone on her sim contract...she is pleased with them both even if setting them both up was hard work. DS1 was happy as he got a pile of tech to take to CEX and got enough cash to pay for his next batch of tattooing.
I had planned to take him up to Middlesbrough to his tattooist but DD was just too poorly to cope on her own so DP took him...DS was not impressed especially as it gave DP permission to take too much interest in his tattoos...DP was taking photos on his phone so he could show 'people'. Creepy or what...especially as he has no connection to any of his children, he just wants to be able to talk about them as though he knows them.
As you can probably tell I am not over fond of DP and would be happy if he dropped down dead...or found the love of life and left us, I'm not fussed just as long as he left!
I have been finding the level of eating I was easily maintaining before Xmas impossible to do so have been putting on a 1lb a day according to my scales. Obviously I've not put on anything like that as I'm still not eating masses but the way my body works I am quite prepared to believe I can put on serious weight at a level that would count as an extreme diet for a normal person... I will get the eating back under control once life gets back to normal as I do like loosing weight and my smaller body. I haven't any other 'resolutions' for 2016...what I want isn't going to happen...DD plateauing if not getting better, DS2 calming down and gaining some independence, DP pissing and leaving me in peace, DM dying...as I say non of them are going to happen so I will just keep on keeping on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)