Had my parents over for lunch last week...God how much I despise my 'D'M, she is just such an arse. She was being very passive aggressive about not seeing DD, who just stays in her room when they come. She, DD, can cope with doing limited activities but being with people is just too much for her. I could probably get DF to understand but DM is such a twat she can't comprehend anything that doesn't match her script, and her script definitely calls for adoring grandchildren. Her vision of the world is a long way from reality and non of her grandchildren would willingly spend any time with her...or indeed her children. I don't see my DB rushing to see her, or indeed to chat on the phone. He chats to DF, who actually has conversation, unlike DM. Anyway I will just have to say I'm busy any time if they want to come again before Xmas, I can't cope with them anymore. Luckily I've already agreed with DS1 that he will be going over after Xmas for the obligatory visit as DD is realistically too poorly for me to leave her for that length of time. DS1 used to stay but she needs more support now.
I have to say I'm marginally disappointed not to be at least a fly on the wall to see how DM reacts when she sees DS1, who now has a beard and a full arm of tattoos. She won't like it at all. He was also very heavy, something he is working to sort, but DM will be offensive because she always is. We have already sorted to play bingo by text with DD, DS1 and I all compiling a list of comments we think she'll make. We can then tick them off as DS1 texts with her latest offering and we can see who wins. I've also got my money on her phoning to pass on her rude comments to me on the grounds I will agree with her...in her script of how life should/will be. Personally I think the beard and tattoos both really suit DS1 and even if they didn't he is over 21 so is allowed to make his own choices. The joys of having a toxic Mum!
DS2 is going through a stressful time at the moment, he is anxious about so many things
- becoming an adult and how he is supposed to behave and what the rules are
- who he should pick as his girlfriend, he is very popular in college and would happily 'date' all the girls...and indeed many of the boys
- is he a boy or a girl. gay or straight...we think he has fluid sexuality which takes some living with without all the issues DS2 has to contend with
- work experience and coping with how he'll be expected to behave
- he is sooo stressing about learning to drive and getting a car...realistically never going to happen but he won't hear that at all
- also because he is so stressed he is getting lots of stress leaking through from his early life which is just adding to the mix of rubbish he is trying NOT to deal with but is using ALL his distraction techniques to bury it all.
DS1 is massively busy but seems to be enjoying life which is all that matters, fingers crossed he can get a job once his degree finishes and get on with his life...after all I need one of my children to have a 'normal' life.
DP is having loads of days off at the moment as he uses up his holidays. Its a real nuisance because having him home at weekends is bad enough without him flopping round the house and filling up the kitchen during the week as well. He really is utterly self absorbed, not a nice or pleasant person and incredibly dull when he starts pontificating...I was going to say talking but he does more than that. Its never a conversation because that implies people listening as well as talking where all he does is talk...hold forth really. He has no interest in actually listening, after all he knows more than anyone else about every topic under the sun o why would he need to waste his time listening to lesser mortals speak! As you can tell he's not my favourite person.
Xmas is pretty much all sorted. I've sorted all the Xmas presents, including what DS2 is giving to people. I've also ordered all the Xmas food I need which is good and will, hopefully, make for an easy time food wise. The actual holiday will be horrid as DP will be home filling the house with negativity and he will be getting annoyed with DS2 for no longer wanting to be his toy. DP needs more amusing than DS2 who can now keep himself amused. DP is not so good at that!
Thankfully Xmas only happens once a year and in another month it will all be over and we will be getting back to normal. My wishes for Xmas are
- DD doesn't flare too badly and copes with people being home and actually gets to enjoy some of it
- DS1 gets all the work done he is needing to organise and enjoys some of it
- DS2 copes without getting too overwhelmed and stressed and manages his behaviour...he is doing really well at the moments and I am really proud of him
- DP leaves for another woman, has a tragic car accident...whatever, just so he doesn't destroy Xmas for everyone else
- DM finally dies...she has been tantalisingly close so often but just needs to actually carry it through!
