DS2 will be back at College from next week which is pleasing him enormously, its been way too long a summer holiday for him. He's still in from Monday to Thursday which isn't making him happy as third year students normally go in Tuesdays to Friday. It means he won't be with a lot of his friends except on Tuesday mornings and Thursdays...which is fine with me as he and his 'girlfriend' are way too intense. DS2 has said more than once that he would actually like to break up as he likes other girls but the girl is immensely manipulative...in a very 'soft' pathetic way. She's a nice enough girl and I really like her mum but she's not good for DS2, basically she has no self esteem so will do anything to keep DS2 as he is seen as a status symbol in College...as I say not healthy for either of them.
We are still taking a break from decorating, though we are still sorting stuff around the house. Last week DS re-backed all the bookcases in the hall as the original backing was starting to crumble...cheap plastic. I took the opportunity to sort through the books and got rid of a fair few. DS1 then cleared a load of boxes out of his room and reorganised as much as he could so he could actually move around his room. Looking for suitable storage gave us an exciting day...we went to pick up some plastic drawer units at Staples...which has rebranded and no longer sells them. This led to us driving through town on a Saturday ...not our brightest move! We then compounded the error by deciding to drive out to IKEA...Leeds was playing at home so the roads were standing traffic...once we'd got beyond there we got into more standing traffic...there had been a nasty accident with a burnt out car. We finally got to IKEA to find it absolutely packed...its the weekend students come back to Uni and there were LOTS of students and parents shopping for all the stuff they needed. As the final cherry on the day there were announcements over the loud speakers telling us that they couldn't take card payments...only cash. Fortunately we had a tiny bit of cash so could get a couple of things we needed and DS1 worked out another solution to his storage issues that was going to work better than our original plan so not a totally wasted day.
DD managed to sort two of the photo shoots she had planned. Both were at Brimham Rocks, a place we went to loads when the children were younger. The first time we went into the woods and took photos with smoke bombs as a special effect...the smoke was an amazing effect and the photos are stunning....as an added bonus the smoke discouraged the midges, of which there were thousands! I was taking the photos so not in the smoke and got so many bits on my forehead I looked as though I'd got measles! I had bites other places but they were the most visible ones. The other photo shoot was along the path amongst the rocks, the National Trust has made a proper path though the woods which is brilliant. It made the photo shoot possible and makes the whole place so accessible. OK DD still can't go into the fun, rocky bits and explore but being able to get to them is just so good. We will go back just for fun that's for sure.
Other than that we have been trying to survive till DS2 goes back to College, his behaviour hasn't been good and we have taken him off sugar which does seem to be reducing the levels of aggression which is good but he is still not finding it easy to be sensible. Hopefully once he gets back into the routine of College he will calm down a bit.
DP is away with work for most of the next 2 weeks...we are looking forward to that sooo much! DS1 will be able to work on his portfolio stuff downstairs and on an evening which will help him get some of the stuff actually finished. DD will have peace and quiet on an evening so she can choose to come downstairs if she wants. DS2 won't be shouted at for random stuff...it will be pleasant break for all of us. DP is being an increasing arse...he is so stupidly grumpy and will be randomly rude, brushing off any comments I, or DS2 ( we are the only people in the house who speak to him), make as though we are just too stupid to bother with. He really is on the narcissistic spectrum and finds anything that he could possible perceive as a criticism, however mild, as a vicious attack and he just can't cope. Its a good job I am no longer emotionally connected to him or it would be really painful, now I can just think what a prat he is and dream about having enough money to tell him to f*ck off.
DM has been fairly quiet, I've only had one phone call from her and we talked about the weather in America, where there have been hurricanes, and the political situation in North Korea, where they have been firing missiles, all very superficial. I was polite and asked about her health but I am telling her nothing about my life, she doesn't have any interest so why would I bother. She is another on the narcissistic spectrum, with DF as her enabler....not a supportive family that's for sure! DB is another who is utterly disconnected from the family, I get updates on what he's doing from DM and DF but I have virtually no contact with him. We send cards to each other and Xmas presents, but that's it. I can't see us staying in touch once our parents die, its a shame as I had a good relationship with DB1 and I still miss him. OK the relationship could have faded, after all I used to think my parents were good and that DP was my best friend, but I like to think he really was the person I remember. It would be so good to actually have a grown up friend I could off load to, there are days I really need it and I have no one. That why I write this!! Even J. uses me to off load onto and its not a two way street as I find her boundaries strange and so tell her only very superficial stuff about my life, basically I don't trust her....not good. The 'friendship' is fading off which is good in some ways...she is very loud when she comes round which disturbs DD...and sad in others...she was a good friend before she got wrapped up in her drug addict boyfriend and I do miss having someone to talk to. But such is life.
My hopes for the next month or so is that DD manages to regain some energy when DS2 goes back to College, she has been flaring a lot all summer, mini flares but still leaving in bed for a lot of the time. I also hope DS1 gets a job, that's it basically. I just want him to get on with his life....he gets awfully floppy and has any number of excuses about why he hasn't done stuff but he just needs to man up and get his sh*t sorted! He doesn't have to move out, though that would be good, he just needs to grow up. DS2 will hopefully get some control over his behaviour and reduce his aggression...we live in hope. One day my fantasy wish will come true and DM will finally die, DF possibly has another 20 years to go but I hope DM dies earlier than that! Ideally DP will piss off at some stage...magically still leaving his salary with us...OK not going to happen but it is a fantasy!
