What an exciting week! (sarcasm alert)

Well the week started off okay with me finding out I'd got carers allowance for DS2 when I spotted the money in my account. Always nice to find cash I didn't know I had.

As I now have regular extra money I decided I'd better start sorting all the long list of jobs that need doing but I have no money rather than leaving them in the hopes they'll get sorted by elves. So I got the gas fires serviced and got details of how big a new cooker I could squeeze into the kitchen. Unfortunately I can't get a normal sized cooker I still need a little one, a real shame as there is technically space for a bigger cooker but new safety rules means I can't use all the space.

The other problem is that the gas heater in the kitchen is unsafe because the chimney is leaking and needs relining. Not worth the money so I am now trying to get a quote for a new electric fire...I do not fancy a winter without heating in the kitchen!! At least sorting the heaters in the summer gives me time to get everything working by winter when it will be freezing. Not that's its exactly warm at the moment.

I am also getting a quote for a new shower for the top bathroom. The shower has never worked well, it drains poorly and it only gives a trickle of water. I have been wanting to replace it for years and now seems like a good time to find out how much it will be. I am not sure when I will get the money together, even with extra cash coming in we still have more jobs needing cash than we have money! The list of jobs that need doing include-

• car MOT in the next month and all the work that invariably needs doing
• replace sofa in living room
• sort roof to try and stop water coming in...this is an on going problem and is endlessly annoying.
• replace the cooker
• sort an electric heater in the kitchen
• replace the shower in the top bathroom

I have other jobs that need adding to the list eventually like replacing the hall/stair carpet and replacing the lino in the kitchen. The bath also needs replacing in my bathroom.

Well it won't all be done anytime soon but its good to know I have some cash coming in regularly to help. Makes it possible to start on the list.

Another good thing this week is that I've not heard from my parents. I phoned them over a week ago and its been lovely and quiet ever since. I'm enjoying the rest. My brother was due to go over yesterday and see them and mum was expecting him to stay, not sure if that was part of his plans but fortunately its nothing to do with me either way. I will doubtless hear all about it from mum at some stage.

Update: well I got a phone call from my mum in the evening and my brother did stay over for one night which was good of him. It was a weirdly brief phone call, my mum has been known to dribble on for over an hour as standard on phone calls and this one lasted less than 5 minutes. I think the reason for the brevity was that I told her my news...about the gas fire and the chimney...that's not the purpose of phone calls I am supposed to ask after her health and then listen while she tells me boring twaddle about her life. I prefer the shorter phone calls, though even in the brief time she spoke she still managed to be snidey about how I deal with DS2 and blatantly uninterested in anything to do with my life. What it is to have such a supportive mother.

Update 2: well here I am updating this less than a year after I originally wrote my list of jobs I'd like done and I am overjoyed that every one of the jobs I really wanting sorting has been done! We have also got a stairlift for DD fitted and triple glazing in her bedroom to reduce the noise coming from the street. Its been a busy year and DD I have both been saving like mad but we have worked our way through everything on the list, even with such minor matters as a new washing machine being needed when the last one died and even a new tumble drier when that stopped working properly. We now need to save for DS1's deposit for a shared house in London for his 3rd year of Uni and afterwards. So no worries!! Good job we are used to saving hard!

Our holiday

Well we booked a holiday on a canal boat that was specially adapted for wheelchair users. It looked perfect, a slow moving, gentle holiday with lots of time to do stuff as a family...when I say 'family' I mean me, DD, DS1 and DS2, DP hasn't been included in our holiday plans for years as he can poison anything with his temper and foul moods. We had planned a route that would take us to Stratford on Avon and it all looked idyllic.

We got to the boat yard on Thursday and got everything on board and DS1 got taught how to steer the boat. It all looked fine...the boat wasn't as wheelchair accessible as we'd imagined but still workable. We were recommended not to do the route we planned as it was not easy for beginners and would need more able bodied people than we had...really just DS1 and me. So we set off down the River Severn for Worcester.

The river was lovely, everything we'd hoped for. Lots of nature, warm sunshine and plenty to see on the river. Unfortunately the boat was not easy enough to steer that anyone except DS1 could do it so he stayed at the tiller all day and ended up extremely over tired, sunburnt and dehydrated. He was concentrating so hard he didn't drink or eat enough and couldn't take a break to get suncreamed up. Not that suncream made that much difference...it was very sunny.

But the main problem wasn't DS1 it was DD. She just found it all too much, too much light, too much movement, too much having to concentrate because she felt she had to help cope with manoeuvring the boat as much as she could. She couldn't rest when she needed to and got dangerously over tired. She has been flaring mildly in recent weeks and we were anxious about how she would cope on holiday but wanted to go anyway, well we found out how she coped and it wasn't well.

We moored up in Worcester on Thursday night and I decided we would go back on Friday....DS1 admitted he found steering the boat all the time harder than he'd imagined, DS2 loved the boat but was getting bored as there was little for him to do when he were moving, I found the constant motion disconcerting (I suffer appallingly from motion sickness and even a slow moving boat on a gentle river affected me) but non of these would have mattered if DD was coping. But she wasn't, she was struggling too much and the only option was to bring her home before she got too ill to manage the journey back. To be honest only DS2 was disappointed with the decision and even he could see how desperately poorly DD was...he gave her the teddy he'd brought on holiday to protect him. He is such a sweetie, hard work but sooo worth it.

The holiday was worth it....DD and I were up at 4am on Friday morning watching the dawn over the river...total magic. I saw an otter, she saw kingfishers and we all saw loads of heron. DS2 got to steer the boat for a tiny section which made him feel amazing and he got to sound the horn loads. DS1 got his low opinion of motor boats confirmed by the arrogance of the motor yacht owners, he is definitely a sail man. But even with all of this coming home was the right decision.

Unfortunately it was a hellish journey coming home...6.5 hours for a 3 hour journey, thank God for air con! The traffic round Birmingham was VERY slow moving. Still it was good to be home again and DD was happy to be back in her own room where she could control the light and she was able to rest in  more comfort. She was still dangerously overtired and in huge amounts of pain but found it easier to manage at home.

An interesting note: on the first night I had a text message from my Mum and DP both basically saying 'hope you have a good holiday'. I replied to both saying the weather was good but DD was struggling and we were coming back early. DP replied briefly saying 'what a shame', but no enquiry about DD. My Mum didn't reply at all. I also texted my friend to say what was happening and got texts back expressing normal interest and offering support and the following morning she texted again to check how DD was coping and basically showed she cared. Nothing from DP or Mum. When we got home DP was plainly not expecting us back and was VERY plainly not happy we had got back early to invade 'his' space!

I didn't find out anything I didn't know but it was a very clear example of how little DP and Mum care about DD.

My Mum is ill

My mum has smoked for more than 60 years and, unsurprisingly, suffers from chest problems as a result. She has smoked up to 60 a day at some stages and still smokes plenty, even though she is not supposed to be smoking at all.

She had a chest infection last week, quelle surprise, she ALWAYS has a 'chest infection'. She wasn't well but then she's not been well for years and is pretty much house bound unless my Dad takes her out. Well this chest infection turned nasty and she ended up having to be rushed to hospital in an ambulance and having oxygen forced into her lungs for 48 hours as her blood oxygen was so low.

She remembers nothing about this, hardly surprising, so thinks everyone is making a fuss about nothing and is plainly not planning on giving up cigarettes. She is annoyed that the ambulance workers cut off her clothes! She is whinging about all the bruises on her arms from where needles were inserted...okay the bruises look awful but she needs to look at the big picture. She is alive, which was far from certain when she arrived in hospital. She was in Intensive Care for 48 hours! The woman is delusional.

If I am being totally honest I was really disappointed that she recovered. I was very much hoping that she would die...I have been waiting for it for years. She is, as far as I'm concerned, a nasty waste of space. She is very needy and everything has to be about her. She dismisses my DD's illness because it takes attention away from her and means I have an excuse for not living my life according to her script.

The more I look back on my childhood the more aware I become of how manipulative and unpleasant she was. Yet I would still say my childhood was happy...not so much my teenage years and beyond but that's life for you. Mum does like to the centre of attention. Fortunately for her my Dad still thinks she is amazing and is really pleased she recovered and will still be around shouting at him and being offensively rude for a few more years. I am not so pleased but keep all contact to a minimum so its not a major problem for me.