I have to admit I have always enjoyed the summer holidays, its good not to have to race out of bed every day to sort packed lunches and sort children off to school and the spend the day keeping an eye on the clock. Summer holidays give time and space to actually enjoy time with my children...or at least that's what it used to be like.
Once DS2 arrived summer holidays became harder as he struggles to cope with any breaks in his routine and while he used to find school readily hard he can be hard to keep occupied at home. Still we used to get out for days to do stuff and holidays were still lots of fun. This year is not proving to be quite as much fun as I'd hoped. For a start its been going on for ages...DS2 finished school in early June and DS1 came home from Uni before the end of June. DS2 is madly keen to start College, once he'd had his taster days he fell totally in love with the place...'how had we KNOWN he would like the College so much'...so he is getting to be a bit bored at still being off. DS1 is kind of coping with being home from Uni but has really grown away from life here and will be happier once he gets back to his real life, luckily he still has friends here but its not the same and he finds coping with DD, DS2 and DP really hard.
The main problem this summer though has been DD's health. She has deteriorated at a steady pace ever since she became ill but this summer her decline has been precipitous and its getting scary for her...and the rest of us. She is having to give up football...a real shame as she felt doing powerchair football made her illness worth it, she is struggling to maintain her blog even once a week, she was doing it every day not that long since and she is almost totally housebound. Having DS2 at home all the time is hard for her as he is so loud and does suck energy out of everyone. DS1 also makes life hard for DD as he won't DO all the stuff he thinks he should...after all he has the energy and is going to actually get to leave. (As a big sister she has always had a tendency to micromanage her brothers life).
Not sure what the future holds for DD but its not going to be pleasant or pretty. We are hoping to manage a couple of outings before the end of the holidays but they will be DD's last trips out unless a miracle happens. It also looks as though I will not be able to leave her, even with her brother to look after her as she needs more support than she can take from him. I went to see my parents on Sunday with DP and DS2...totally a duty visit...and DD struggled. Then yesterday I had to leave her for most of the day as DS1 needed taking to Middlesbrough to get his first tattoo....DD coped but only just and I can't justify leaving her.
I still like summer holidays but I don't think I'll be looking forward to them quite as much in the future.
Wednesday 26 August 2015
Monday 10 August 2015
Happy Days
I am having a really good time at the moment....not that everything is great, DD is not good and is in huge amounts of pain. She had her PIP assessment on Thursday which lasted an hour and a half and she was sobbing with pain and exhaustion by the end then on Friday she had an appointment at the new pain unit which was tiring as she had 4 questionnaires to fill in and the place was loud and busy.
Still even with DD being ill we are still having good days. On Wednesday we all went out to Harlow Carr and the flowers were the best I have ever seen. There was a patch of wild flowers that were especially lovely...lots of poppies and corn flowers, very special.
On Saturday my new cooker was delivered and installed. Knowing that it would be a job and a half...mostly because of the vast amounts of expanding foam DP has used around the old cooker, don't ask...I arranged to be in town getting DS1 and 2 haircuts leaving DP to cope. Even before we left I could hear the men removing the old cooker complaining the cooker was hot...DP had used it minutes before it needed to be taken out because 'no one had told him'. Installing the cooker was obviously less than fun job...had DP 'known the foam would cause problems he would have dug the old plug out'...what bit he didn't 'know' only he could explain. He was more than aware the new cooker was being installed because I explained it all to him, but he only 'knows' he is perfect so any problems are someone else's fault obviously. Anyway non of that mattered as I wasn't there and the new cooker is gorgeous...all white and shiny and sooo clean.
On Saturday night I had another amazing experience. I phoned my parents, not because I really wanted to but felt I ought to...the problems of being a dutiful daughter, well a bit dutiful. The last phone call from my mum had been very brief and she'd not phoned since so I'd had a good week of peace and quiet and thought I'd had too much fun so ought to phone. Anyway I got my dad and we chatted for a few minutes about England winning the Ashes and the stuff he's doing in the garden. Nothing major just general chit chat...I asked after mum's health and did the polite stuff. He was then going to pass the phone over to mum so she could speak...this is when my day looked up...she wasn't wanting to speak to me. Presumably I done/not done something which has offended her and so she is punishing me by not speaking to me. I really wish I knew what I'd done so I could so it lots more!
As far as I'm concerned she can refuse to speak to me until she dies, if I never speak to her again I won't loose anything good from my life. Instead I'll loose all her self absorption and her endless negativity and all her snidy comments about what I should be doing. Long may the punishment last!
Anyway as I said happy days!
Update: unfortunately I gloated too soon and my mum phoned me a couple of days later to dribble on about who knows (or cares) what. She did ask about DD's scan...she doesn't have any scans booked but mum stalks DD's blog, twitter etc and about a month ago DD mentioned she was finally being referred to a neurologist. Mum has been told how much DD hates her reading her stuff but mum is too self absorbed and ignorant to think anyone could possible object to HER doing exactly what she wants. She really is a less than pleasant person...her loss as it means she doesn't get to see DD or DS1, though not sure how much of a loss she thinks that is. They are not the grandchildren she wants any more so I'm not sure she misses them...other than as actors in her personal drama!
I mentioned to DD about her Gma reading her twitter and she tweeted about how creepy it was to have family stalking her twitter feed! Way to go girl!! Maybe Mum will be pissed off and punish me again. Fingers crossed.
Still even with DD being ill we are still having good days. On Wednesday we all went out to Harlow Carr and the flowers were the best I have ever seen. There was a patch of wild flowers that were especially lovely...lots of poppies and corn flowers, very special.
On Saturday my new cooker was delivered and installed. Knowing that it would be a job and a half...mostly because of the vast amounts of expanding foam DP has used around the old cooker, don't ask...I arranged to be in town getting DS1 and 2 haircuts leaving DP to cope. Even before we left I could hear the men removing the old cooker complaining the cooker was hot...DP had used it minutes before it needed to be taken out because 'no one had told him'. Installing the cooker was obviously less than fun job...had DP 'known the foam would cause problems he would have dug the old plug out'...what bit he didn't 'know' only he could explain. He was more than aware the new cooker was being installed because I explained it all to him, but he only 'knows' he is perfect so any problems are someone else's fault obviously. Anyway non of that mattered as I wasn't there and the new cooker is gorgeous...all white and shiny and sooo clean.
On Saturday night I had another amazing experience. I phoned my parents, not because I really wanted to but felt I ought to...the problems of being a dutiful daughter, well a bit dutiful. The last phone call from my mum had been very brief and she'd not phoned since so I'd had a good week of peace and quiet and thought I'd had too much fun so ought to phone. Anyway I got my dad and we chatted for a few minutes about England winning the Ashes and the stuff he's doing in the garden. Nothing major just general chit chat...I asked after mum's health and did the polite stuff. He was then going to pass the phone over to mum so she could speak...this is when my day looked up...she wasn't wanting to speak to me. Presumably I done/not done something which has offended her and so she is punishing me by not speaking to me. I really wish I knew what I'd done so I could so it lots more!
As far as I'm concerned she can refuse to speak to me until she dies, if I never speak to her again I won't loose anything good from my life. Instead I'll loose all her self absorption and her endless negativity and all her snidy comments about what I should be doing. Long may the punishment last!
Anyway as I said happy days!
Update: unfortunately I gloated too soon and my mum phoned me a couple of days later to dribble on about who knows (or cares) what. She did ask about DD's scan...she doesn't have any scans booked but mum stalks DD's blog, twitter etc and about a month ago DD mentioned she was finally being referred to a neurologist. Mum has been told how much DD hates her reading her stuff but mum is too self absorbed and ignorant to think anyone could possible object to HER doing exactly what she wants. She really is a less than pleasant person...her loss as it means she doesn't get to see DD or DS1, though not sure how much of a loss she thinks that is. They are not the grandchildren she wants any more so I'm not sure she misses them...other than as actors in her personal drama!
I mentioned to DD about her Gma reading her twitter and she tweeted about how creepy it was to have family stalking her twitter feed! Way to go girl!! Maybe Mum will be pissed off and punish me again. Fingers crossed.
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