Well it's now 2022, Christmas was very quiet, as it always is. DF invited himself for Christmas Day lunch...I think he made a mistake as he was also invited by my aunt and her daughters and he'd have had far more fun there. It was horribly flat here on Xmas Day, even more so than usual. He did carry on to their house and had a fun evening. My Christmas wasn't great, apart from having to do endless cooking which I'm not fond of I got only one present. DD had arranged for the three of them to get me some chocolates I really like which was a lovely idea. DF got me a notebook, not sure what he was thinking and I'm guessing it will end up in the bin. DP got me nothing...I got him a couple of books and a tee-shirt. He is rubbish at presents but absolutely nothing felt rude and certainly shows how much he thinks about me, that he doesn't care I already know. I don't care about him but make sure I stay polite.
Anyway 2022....we still have Covid, there are ongoing scandals in Parliament with politicians lying...who knew...USA looks as though all those in power who supported the coup attempt will evade any responsibility and Trump has an extremely good chance of becoming President again. If all that isn't depressing enough we have the rise of authoritarian governments across the world, climate change speeding up with all that means for wildlife extinctions. The future looks increasingly bleak. If I'd been able to see the future when we were looking to have children I may well have chosen differently...DS1 is the only one who has any real chance of independence and he is going to struggle, housing is just so expensive and looking to buy on his own will be hard.
DF appears to be doing fine after DM's death...he is walking and seems busy planning what he wants to do in the house and seeing friends. He had a lot of years to get used to the idea and she was horrifically hard work at the end and always so unpleasant. Her death leaves no hole at all in my life...I always said I wouldn't grieve but I honestly thought I would a bit, if only from guilt but I have no emotions at all.
DD is having her usual January flare and every year it gets harder for her. She has so little energy that she struggles to watch TV or listen to audio books and it's a long time since she could do any crafts. Her ADHD makes not having a constant stream of activities super hard. She ends up miserable and whiny which is not a lot of fun. I do what I can but it's limited. She is also putting on even more weight which is going to be super fun...if she stops fitting into her clothes she really will end up with nothing at all to do...fun times.
DS2 is finally getting some paid hours from his work which will help his money situation. The enormous percentage the Council takes off him for his care costs is ridiculous and means he's running through his Criminal Injuries money at a fair lick...hopefully he can start putting some money back.
DS1 is still saving to move out. He needs to be able to drive first and get a car...he says he's planning sorting that this year but I'll believe it when I see it. He really hates the idea of driving...so did I but nowadays it's a necessity unfortunately....and I do like driving now.
DP is being exactly the same as he always is...he did mention a slight possibility of him going to Canada for a month...I almost wish he hadn't said anything because when it doesn't happen I'll be gutted. The idea of a whole month without him is just magic!
I don't really have any hopes for this year. The only job left from last years is the hall carpet and that will need a pile of money and me having the energy to repaint all the doors, skirting boards, walls and ceiling and the staircase. So extremely unlikely to be this year however badly we need it doing. DS1 would like his Gpa to die so he gets some cash for to help him move out but that's really not going to happen...I reckon DF has 20 more years to go. I'd obviously love enough money to move house...somewhere quiet with a garden and a view for DD and space for DS2 to expand into. That kind of money would also give DS1 somewhere to live independently and we'd have funds to make sure everyone could continue to be cared for after I die...which is a worry of mine however many years down the line it is. Obviously DP is not part of this fantasy... not sure if anyone except DS2 would want to see him at all.
