Well we survived another Xmas. We ate our 'Christmas dinner' on the 22nd December as that was the day I collected the food we'd ordered. We'd ordered full turkeys not crowns which was fine as DS1 managed to follow an online tutorial DD found and create our own crowns. It meant there was plenty of dark meat which we cooked without any salt so the cats could eat some. Grundo LOVED turkey and is less than happy its all gone.
We didn't bother with any decorations at all this year, though DS2 did make some paper chains for his room. DP and I went over to Malton the week before Xmas as he was off work...December was a crap month with all the time he had off! DM was being very feeble and pathetic, she has stage 2 breast cancer from the limited information I got...this means her survival rate is 98% after 5 years. That's obviously not dramatic enough for DM hence all the feeble over acting! DF was also not over happy...he's had carpel tunnel in his right hand, which is painful I had it after DD was born and its still attacks a bit. Anyway DF had a operation to fix it, the joys of being able to afford private medicine, it left him feeling a bit annoyed as his hand wasn't instantly back to normal. He also complained at how little free time he's got with having to look after DM...I didn't laugh but, honestly, what does he think I do all day. I am a full time carer for two of my offspring, DD and DS2, I may not be busy 24/7 but I am on-call all the time, everyday with no time off for the last 14 years. I think it's part of why I liked the gym so much, a whole hour where I could listen to music and NOT be interrupted by anyone.
DM obviously felt her Xmas cancer meant I had to be available to entertain her at any moment and took to phoning me...4 time one day. I have weaned her off that and its now only a couple of times a week and am hoping it fades off soon. Who knows 2019 might finally see the end of her! I can live in hope.
Today...finally...DP has gone to see his stepmum...he took DS1 and DS2, after all he can't even go to the gym on his own. I think this is the first time he's been down to see her since his DF died and that was about 6 years ago! He is so rude and ignorant. DD and I have enjoyed a really lovely peaceful day. We have watched some TV in peace and quiet and had a takeaway that was ok if not memorable. Now we are just waiting for them to come back which is likely to be very soon.
Ruth is still a nervous cat and not keen on exploring beyond DD's room. She is getting better, but very slowly, at least she looks better and isn't so sticky and unloved looking. She had to have her last tooth taken out when we got her and lots of repair work done on the dental work that had been done/botched...at the shelter she was in. She is less pain now and no infection, the vets were plainly crap.
We got the roof sorted and all the plumbing work which we hadn't budgeted for but which needed to be done once the roofer could actually see what a mess our builder had made of the work. Nice to have it finally done right. We also had to replace DD's laptop, she'd had her previous laptop for 2 years and it had needed repairing about 3 times during that period. When the same error came back again it seemed a good time to upgrade. Her new laptop seems to be a total winner so far, now we just need to save up to pay for it....as well as paying back DS1 the money we borrowed from him to pay the roofers.
We only have 2 more days before DP goes back to work and oh God will be happy to see the back of him. He really struggles to find anything to do at home other than the stuff he does on a weekend and that's not enough to fill the best part of 2 weeks! He is also an utter arse to DS2 and is incredibly nasty and rude to him. OK I get it DS2 can, and indeed all too frequently is, really annoying and silly but he does not deserve the treatment he gets from DP. Unfortunately DP still sees DS2 as a toy he can play with when he's not at work to stop him getting bored, with the added bonus of martyrdom, cue lots of heaving and sighing...he is an utter twat. If I had the money he would be kicked out so fast his head would spin!
The news is all so depressing I have been avoiding it as much as possible. I have taken to reading American news instead as it may, and indeed is, depressing as hell but it's at a suitable remove so not as hard to cope with. Next year look as though it may be interesting, and not in a good way, for Trump which makes reading the news worthwhile. Hopefully Brexit will eventually happen and UK news can stop being so terminally horrible and boring.
For myself I want the same for 2019 that I always want, DS1 to get a job or some kind of actual life. DS2 to find something to do once he leaves College to keep himself occupied...which he may well have at Revive, fingers crossed. DD to be in less pain and to have enough energy to have some kind of life. DP to f**k off would be nice, or me to have to money to tell him to f**k off. My DM to finally put us all out of her misery by finally dying! She has been in ill health for so many years its getting silly. We will see, to be honest the only one I see happening is DS2 and if he gets a part time job I can forsee all kinds of problems as he suddenly thinks it means he is a 'proper grown up' and can do exactly what he wants and all of that malarky. Only time will tell.
Saturday 29 December 2018
Friday 16 November 2018
A belated update
Its been a busy few months with little or no privacy to write anything. A lot has happened though.
The kitchen is still looking lovely and I also repainted bits of the bathroom and DS1 finally put up some handrails for DD to help her move around when she's extra tired.
We are also saving up to redo the roof over the bathroom to finally stop water coming in...it needs extreme wind as well as rain but its still not good and has to be sorted. It not cheap but we are saving hard and the roofer was kind enough to say he'd take the money in instalments if necessary.
We also got another cat. I had refused as DD is realistically way too tired and poorly to cope with settling in a new cat and introducing Grundo and all that. But she refused to accept it so she is now complaining she is exhausted by our new cat, a 14 year old called Ruth (after Ruth Bader Ginsburg). Ruth needed a new home after her owner had to go into home and she has very plainly not been happy about any of this. Weirdly she is the most nervous of our cats but seems happy with DD and affectionate which is very much what DD demanded....she is lucky her new cat provided what she wants.
DD has been having massive amounts of face pain and she eventually agreed to find a dentist and see if her teeth were causing the problem. She had a tooth that needed a crown which was way beyond DD's ability to cope with so she got the tooth pulled and after a couple of days it seems to be doing the trick. She also needs her wisdom teeth taking out but she'll need to go to the Dental Hospital for that and get them taken out under general anaesthetic...no one is looking forward to that, though they have been causing pain for years.
Had a phone call from DM recently to say she has breast cancer...why not lung cancer given her heavy smoking for more than 60 years is a mystery! I was less than sympathetic she is 78 and there is no indication its more than Stage 1 or 2 so I'm not rushing to be by her side. I am already expecting the complaints from DF about why we should all turn up for Xmas as it 'may be DM's last'. Won't work...even if DD was well enough to leave the house DS1 refusing to go again and DS2 will only go if I insist because he doesn't like them. I have no desire to see either of them and would be only too happy to hear its actually Stage 4 cancer and she has weeks to live...I'm not that lucky though.
Other than that DS1 is finally learning to drive which is positive and he's also doing a joinery course which is driving him insane as its sooo basic, though does eventually lead to proper qualification and the prospect of jobs he's bothered to do.
DS2 is finding life hard and boring and he's grown up and he's scared about being independent...its all a mess. He tries hard and he can be lovely but he can also be unpleasant.
DP continues to be a self absorbed arse. Fortunately he has been away for work for a few weeks which is good but he let drop the unpleasant information that he is off for a lot of days in December...what a crap run up to Xmas! It was recently DS1's birthday which DP totally ignored. I expected him to ignore mine...it was on the 100th anniversary to the armistice in 1918 and it would have been inappropriate to celebrate a birthday that day. But to totally ignore your son's birthday is ignorant even for DP. No wonder he is not popular! He has taken to huffing and generally behaving as if he is being verbally attacked if I try to ask him a question or reply to anything he says...its increasingly apparent he requires and audience not a participant in any 'conversation'.
The kitchen is still looking lovely and I also repainted bits of the bathroom and DS1 finally put up some handrails for DD to help her move around when she's extra tired.
We are also saving up to redo the roof over the bathroom to finally stop water coming in...it needs extreme wind as well as rain but its still not good and has to be sorted. It not cheap but we are saving hard and the roofer was kind enough to say he'd take the money in instalments if necessary.
We also got another cat. I had refused as DD is realistically way too tired and poorly to cope with settling in a new cat and introducing Grundo and all that. But she refused to accept it so she is now complaining she is exhausted by our new cat, a 14 year old called Ruth (after Ruth Bader Ginsburg). Ruth needed a new home after her owner had to go into home and she has very plainly not been happy about any of this. Weirdly she is the most nervous of our cats but seems happy with DD and affectionate which is very much what DD demanded....she is lucky her new cat provided what she wants.
DD has been having massive amounts of face pain and she eventually agreed to find a dentist and see if her teeth were causing the problem. She had a tooth that needed a crown which was way beyond DD's ability to cope with so she got the tooth pulled and after a couple of days it seems to be doing the trick. She also needs her wisdom teeth taking out but she'll need to go to the Dental Hospital for that and get them taken out under general anaesthetic...no one is looking forward to that, though they have been causing pain for years.
Had a phone call from DM recently to say she has breast cancer...why not lung cancer given her heavy smoking for more than 60 years is a mystery! I was less than sympathetic she is 78 and there is no indication its more than Stage 1 or 2 so I'm not rushing to be by her side. I am already expecting the complaints from DF about why we should all turn up for Xmas as it 'may be DM's last'. Won't work...even if DD was well enough to leave the house DS1 refusing to go again and DS2 will only go if I insist because he doesn't like them. I have no desire to see either of them and would be only too happy to hear its actually Stage 4 cancer and she has weeks to live...I'm not that lucky though.
Other than that DS1 is finally learning to drive which is positive and he's also doing a joinery course which is driving him insane as its sooo basic, though does eventually lead to proper qualification and the prospect of jobs he's bothered to do.
DS2 is finding life hard and boring and he's grown up and he's scared about being independent...its all a mess. He tries hard and he can be lovely but he can also be unpleasant.
DP continues to be a self absorbed arse. Fortunately he has been away for work for a few weeks which is good but he let drop the unpleasant information that he is off for a lot of days in December...what a crap run up to Xmas! It was recently DS1's birthday which DP totally ignored. I expected him to ignore mine...it was on the 100th anniversary to the armistice in 1918 and it would have been inappropriate to celebrate a birthday that day. But to totally ignore your son's birthday is ignorant even for DP. No wonder he is not popular! He has taken to huffing and generally behaving as if he is being verbally attacked if I try to ask him a question or reply to anything he says...its increasingly apparent he requires and audience not a participant in any 'conversation'.
Monday 20 August 2018
Life keeps shitting on us
This has not been a great summer. First we had weeks of intensely hot weather...DS1 couldn't cope in his room at all and none of us got any sleep. I spent the whole time in a puddle of sweat. Neither of the cats liked it, Millie was particularly unhappy with all the heat.
DD has deteriorated even further and has had a facial migraine that is currently into its 3rd week. It's so bad she has started an elimination diet to see if anything she eats is triggering the migraines. To be fair she desperately needs to loose a bit of weight ...she is well over 20 stone now and its not good for her, so hopefully the elimination diet will help a bit.
We found out today Millie has liver cancer and its already moved onto her lungs as well so there is nothing the vets can do. She possibly has a couple of months left but that's it. The news couldn't be worse and we are all very upset, she is such a sweet snuggly cat and DD will miss her dreadfully. We won't be catless as we do have Grundo who is a total sweetheart, but we will still miss Millie.
Other than that our summer has been very dull, we can't get out because DD is too ill to leave the house and isn't really well enough for us to leave her on her own. DS1 and I are going to redecorate the kitchen the last week in August when DP is off work...our timing has nothing to do with inconveniencing him obviously...a total coincidence! We have sorted replacing the flooring which is elderly and grubby now and we are also getting new blinds. DS1 is also going to resand the table and put fresh varnish on it...DS2 and DP managed to trash the varnish within hours last time it was done. They have been warned not to repeat that!
DM and DF have been notable by their absence which is fine by me...I think DM may have finally noticed she isn't my favourite person, she hands the phone over to DF very quickly which is a very new development. I think they've been over once this summer, I can't get over to them so its been pleasant on that front.
Looking forward to the autumn, cooler weather and hopefully DD finds what is triggering her pain...I hoping its not just another crappy M.E. symptom.
UPDATE: well Millie didn't have any time left at all. Once she got back from the vets she obviously decided as we now knew she had cancer she could stop fighting to hide how ill she was. She was in increasing pain and stopped being able to eat, even though we were feeding her cooked chicken and salmon! We found out on Tuesday and and she went to the vets on Friday to be PTS. It was a heartbreaking decision to make as she had moments where she appeared ok but it was the right choice as she her pain was only going to increase.
DD discovered that her migraines are triggered by wheat/gluten. She is now migraine free which is a plus but she is finding it hard to cope without Millie, having DP at home all week and the disruption of decorating all at the same time without her standard comfort food!
The kitchen is mostly redecorated now and looks so lovely and clean...it won't last but I'm enjoying it while I can.
DM and DF dropped by while DS1 and I were in the middle of decorating, they had been told it was not a convenient time to come....but they are both too stupid and selfish to listen. DF told me we had only just started...the room was about half finished....he is so wrapped up in his own little world he doesn't see anything else as real. As they didn't bother giving any notice they were coming DD was still in the living room, not good for her and she spasmed badly the whole time they were here, not too long fortunately I was very unwelcoming. I escorted DM out so she couldn't wander into the living room, she is nosy bitch, which left DF to poke his nose into the room.
DF phoned this evening and was obviously wanting to talk about DD...I told him he'd been rude and tried to say it was unhelpful to DD but he went into monologue mode and I gave up listening...I put the phone back to my ear every few minutes and he was still talking...in the end I said I was busy and hung up. So incredibly rude, as far as they are concerned my purpose is to be an audience, I am not supposed to speak only listen. If I am so stupid as to try and speak they will both utterly ignore my voice and talk over me. Just so cross, they can be nasty to me but harming my DD is NOT acceptable. They can both f*ck off.
UPDATE 2: Grundo has his annual health check up and he has the beginnings of kidney disease, not a surprise given his age and his hyperthyroid operation but still very unwelcome news. We did think about looking for other cats but he is so obviously enjoying being an only cat and getting all the attention its not a good time to get any other cats. Maybe later.
DD has deteriorated even further and has had a facial migraine that is currently into its 3rd week. It's so bad she has started an elimination diet to see if anything she eats is triggering the migraines. To be fair she desperately needs to loose a bit of weight ...she is well over 20 stone now and its not good for her, so hopefully the elimination diet will help a bit.
We found out today Millie has liver cancer and its already moved onto her lungs as well so there is nothing the vets can do. She possibly has a couple of months left but that's it. The news couldn't be worse and we are all very upset, she is such a sweet snuggly cat and DD will miss her dreadfully. We won't be catless as we do have Grundo who is a total sweetheart, but we will still miss Millie.
Other than that our summer has been very dull, we can't get out because DD is too ill to leave the house and isn't really well enough for us to leave her on her own. DS1 and I are going to redecorate the kitchen the last week in August when DP is off work...our timing has nothing to do with inconveniencing him obviously...a total coincidence! We have sorted replacing the flooring which is elderly and grubby now and we are also getting new blinds. DS1 is also going to resand the table and put fresh varnish on it...DS2 and DP managed to trash the varnish within hours last time it was done. They have been warned not to repeat that!
DM and DF have been notable by their absence which is fine by me...I think DM may have finally noticed she isn't my favourite person, she hands the phone over to DF very quickly which is a very new development. I think they've been over once this summer, I can't get over to them so its been pleasant on that front.
Looking forward to the autumn, cooler weather and hopefully DD finds what is triggering her pain...I hoping its not just another crappy M.E. symptom.
UPDATE: well Millie didn't have any time left at all. Once she got back from the vets she obviously decided as we now knew she had cancer she could stop fighting to hide how ill she was. She was in increasing pain and stopped being able to eat, even though we were feeding her cooked chicken and salmon! We found out on Tuesday and and she went to the vets on Friday to be PTS. It was a heartbreaking decision to make as she had moments where she appeared ok but it was the right choice as she her pain was only going to increase.
DD discovered that her migraines are triggered by wheat/gluten. She is now migraine free which is a plus but she is finding it hard to cope without Millie, having DP at home all week and the disruption of decorating all at the same time without her standard comfort food!
The kitchen is mostly redecorated now and looks so lovely and clean...it won't last but I'm enjoying it while I can.
DM and DF dropped by while DS1 and I were in the middle of decorating, they had been told it was not a convenient time to come....but they are both too stupid and selfish to listen. DF told me we had only just started...the room was about half finished....he is so wrapped up in his own little world he doesn't see anything else as real. As they didn't bother giving any notice they were coming DD was still in the living room, not good for her and she spasmed badly the whole time they were here, not too long fortunately I was very unwelcoming. I escorted DM out so she couldn't wander into the living room, she is nosy bitch, which left DF to poke his nose into the room.
DF phoned this evening and was obviously wanting to talk about DD...I told him he'd been rude and tried to say it was unhelpful to DD but he went into monologue mode and I gave up listening...I put the phone back to my ear every few minutes and he was still talking...in the end I said I was busy and hung up. So incredibly rude, as far as they are concerned my purpose is to be an audience, I am not supposed to speak only listen. If I am so stupid as to try and speak they will both utterly ignore my voice and talk over me. Just so cross, they can be nasty to me but harming my DD is NOT acceptable. They can both f*ck off.
UPDATE 2: Grundo has his annual health check up and he has the beginnings of kidney disease, not a surprise given his age and his hyperthyroid operation but still very unwelcome news. We did think about looking for other cats but he is so obviously enjoying being an only cat and getting all the attention its not a good time to get any other cats. Maybe later.
Monday 28 May 2018
'It's been a good life all in all'
The quote is from a song and every time I listen to it I have to agree that however crap life is...well not crap as such just very limited...I have had a good life.
I grew up in Scarborough at a time when I could have pretty much unlimited freedom to roam which was very special. I have so many memories of my brother and our friends wandering for miles playing all sorts of games. Not something I could let DD and DS1 do when they were young enough to enjoy it, just too many cars. The late 1960's and 1970's were a magic time to be in Scarborough, the gardens were immaculate in memory, certainly a lot better maintained than now! We had so much fun exploring ... not quite a 'Swallows and Amazons' childhood but close enough.
I was also lucky in having a brother I was very good friends with. We had lots of fun. My grandparents were also brilliant...my grandpa had a sweetie cupboard and we were allowed in it as an occasional treat. They were really special people and I was incredibly lucky to have them.
I have had jobs I really enjoyed...nothing that paid well but I still had a lot of fun.
I have the three most wonderful children in the world which is amazing and I am grateful for that every day.
So basically it has been a good life...okay its not perfect, my parents are not great and my DP is an arse and I would leave in a heartbeat if I had the money. I am devastated that my beautiful, perfect DD has M.E. and is in so much pain and is so ill. I am worried about DS1 still not having a job, though he does now have a plan which will, hopefully, work for him. I have continuing anxiety about DS2's future because life will never be easy for him and he will never be, safely, independent which does annoy him. But my life is good, I live in Yorkshire which means I have already won the lottery of life, I get to see trees and enjoy the sunshine through leaves. I get to listen to awesome music. My favourite author is bringing out 3 books this year...all good stuff.
I could concentrate on the bad stuff, and heaven knows there is enough....we have had yet another intruder in the house, DS1 saw it in the top bathroom and had a total meltdown he is still recovering from, he had to get anxiety meds from the doctors he was that stressed! We haven't told him that there has been yet another intruder, fortunately caught and dealt with....I am super sealing everywhere!! We have birds nesting under the roof tiles and the noise is dreadful at night. DD is still deteriorating and in pain. DM is obviously not well and being grumpy I can't/am not interested in visiting her and pandering to her need for adulation. But while all of that is real I would rather follow my grandparents example and enjoy the good stuff rather than moan about the rest.
My grandpa had a childhood of such poverty he suffered malnutrition, had to leave school at 13 to work even though he'd got a scholarship to the Grammar School. He got lead poisoning and was extremely lucky to get a doctor who was prepared to try a radical 'kill or cure' operation on him removing his stomach. I was blessed he survived so I got to know and love him and my grandma. He never complained about how hard his life had been, instead he felt he has been singularly blessed in his life and was very happy. My grandma had also not had an easy life, if less hard than grandpa's but also loved her life. I miss them all the time.
My DM on the other hand has had a pretty good life and any problems in later life are down to her choices, smoking has destroyed her health. But she is very well off and lives in a beautiful location with no major worries, but she moans and whinges all the time. She is a miserable person to talk to over the phone and in person she is embarrassing because of the horrid way she talk...or rather shouts ...at DF.
I know which example I'd rather follow so I will continue to be grateful I have had a 'good life all in all'.
I grew up in Scarborough at a time when I could have pretty much unlimited freedom to roam which was very special. I have so many memories of my brother and our friends wandering for miles playing all sorts of games. Not something I could let DD and DS1 do when they were young enough to enjoy it, just too many cars. The late 1960's and 1970's were a magic time to be in Scarborough, the gardens were immaculate in memory, certainly a lot better maintained than now! We had so much fun exploring ... not quite a 'Swallows and Amazons' childhood but close enough.
I was also lucky in having a brother I was very good friends with. We had lots of fun. My grandparents were also brilliant...my grandpa had a sweetie cupboard and we were allowed in it as an occasional treat. They were really special people and I was incredibly lucky to have them.
I have had jobs I really enjoyed...nothing that paid well but I still had a lot of fun.
I have the three most wonderful children in the world which is amazing and I am grateful for that every day.
So basically it has been a good life...okay its not perfect, my parents are not great and my DP is an arse and I would leave in a heartbeat if I had the money. I am devastated that my beautiful, perfect DD has M.E. and is in so much pain and is so ill. I am worried about DS1 still not having a job, though he does now have a plan which will, hopefully, work for him. I have continuing anxiety about DS2's future because life will never be easy for him and he will never be, safely, independent which does annoy him. But my life is good, I live in Yorkshire which means I have already won the lottery of life, I get to see trees and enjoy the sunshine through leaves. I get to listen to awesome music. My favourite author is bringing out 3 books this year...all good stuff.
I could concentrate on the bad stuff, and heaven knows there is enough....we have had yet another intruder in the house, DS1 saw it in the top bathroom and had a total meltdown he is still recovering from, he had to get anxiety meds from the doctors he was that stressed! We haven't told him that there has been yet another intruder, fortunately caught and dealt with....I am super sealing everywhere!! We have birds nesting under the roof tiles and the noise is dreadful at night. DD is still deteriorating and in pain. DM is obviously not well and being grumpy I can't/am not interested in visiting her and pandering to her need for adulation. But while all of that is real I would rather follow my grandparents example and enjoy the good stuff rather than moan about the rest.
My grandpa had a childhood of such poverty he suffered malnutrition, had to leave school at 13 to work even though he'd got a scholarship to the Grammar School. He got lead poisoning and was extremely lucky to get a doctor who was prepared to try a radical 'kill or cure' operation on him removing his stomach. I was blessed he survived so I got to know and love him and my grandma. He never complained about how hard his life had been, instead he felt he has been singularly blessed in his life and was very happy. My grandma had also not had an easy life, if less hard than grandpa's but also loved her life. I miss them all the time.
My DM on the other hand has had a pretty good life and any problems in later life are down to her choices, smoking has destroyed her health. But she is very well off and lives in a beautiful location with no major worries, but she moans and whinges all the time. She is a miserable person to talk to over the phone and in person she is embarrassing because of the horrid way she talk...or rather shouts ...at DF.
I know which example I'd rather follow so I will continue to be grateful I have had a 'good life all in all'.
Monday 23 April 2018
Its been a busy few weeks
We have had a drama filled month. It began towards the end of March when Renata, our beautiful marmalade cat started throwing up. She had been totally fine in the morning, laid out on my bed as usual enjoying being petted. Then by the afternoon she was throwing up very dramatically enough that I got an appointment at the vets for the next day.
We assumed it was a stomach bug but by morning we were seriously worried as her breathing was so shallow we were scared she wouldn't survive to get to the vets. She was also trying to hide under the bed...not a good sign in a poorly cat. The vets did a bunch of tests, keeping her in all day as she was dehydrated and had lost a dramatic amount of weight for a little cat.
We went back a couple more times as the vets tried to find out what the problem was, various suggestions, diabetes, thyroid problems...all of which were fixable. However as she continued to deteriorate, she struggled to control her back legs and she went blind..also her major organs started to fail, the vets decided it was probably a major stroke or brain embolism and there was only one option.
We made an appointment to have her put to sleep and spent the last few days pampering her with all the foods she couldn't eat because of her skin allergy...she REALLY enjoyed tuna! We also loved her and looked after her. She had a nest made on my bed and at least one of us...me, DD or DS1 was with her 24 hours a day until we had to go back to the vets. She was fading all the time and to be honest I think she understood when the vets appointment was and stayed with us till then. She was a beautiful, gracious person up to the end and let us all know she loved us and was happy to be with us.
We were all utterly lost without her. So lost that DD needed a new cat as soon as possible and we got Millie about 10 days after saying goodbye to Renata. Millie is very snuggly, she is 10 as was Renata, not the same presence or personality but she is sweet and very affectionate which is helpful as we still all miss Renata. Millie is a very welcome addition to our family.
Other than that DS1 and I have finally got round to painting the hall and stairs. We have also had the roofers round yet again to try and sort out the last two bits of damp/leak we have...fingers crossed it actually fixes it finally.
Update: we had a total cloudburst a couple of nights after the roof was fixed and absolutely no water came in so it does look as though the roof is finally watertight.
But we are now needing to get the tumble drier fixed as the start button has snapped...there is always something needing to be sorted!! We have repainting the kitchen and replacing the kitchen cupboard doors on our list next and then replacing the hall carpet. DS1 still needs to get a job and pass his driving test...other that that we are sorted...touch wood!
We assumed it was a stomach bug but by morning we were seriously worried as her breathing was so shallow we were scared she wouldn't survive to get to the vets. She was also trying to hide under the bed...not a good sign in a poorly cat. The vets did a bunch of tests, keeping her in all day as she was dehydrated and had lost a dramatic amount of weight for a little cat.
We went back a couple more times as the vets tried to find out what the problem was, various suggestions, diabetes, thyroid problems...all of which were fixable. However as she continued to deteriorate, she struggled to control her back legs and she went blind..also her major organs started to fail, the vets decided it was probably a major stroke or brain embolism and there was only one option.
We made an appointment to have her put to sleep and spent the last few days pampering her with all the foods she couldn't eat because of her skin allergy...she REALLY enjoyed tuna! We also loved her and looked after her. She had a nest made on my bed and at least one of us...me, DD or DS1 was with her 24 hours a day until we had to go back to the vets. She was fading all the time and to be honest I think she understood when the vets appointment was and stayed with us till then. She was a beautiful, gracious person up to the end and let us all know she loved us and was happy to be with us.
We were all utterly lost without her. So lost that DD needed a new cat as soon as possible and we got Millie about 10 days after saying goodbye to Renata. Millie is very snuggly, she is 10 as was Renata, not the same presence or personality but she is sweet and very affectionate which is helpful as we still all miss Renata. Millie is a very welcome addition to our family.
Other than that DS1 and I have finally got round to painting the hall and stairs. We have also had the roofers round yet again to try and sort out the last two bits of damp/leak we have...fingers crossed it actually fixes it finally.
Update: we had a total cloudburst a couple of nights after the roof was fixed and absolutely no water came in so it does look as though the roof is finally watertight.
But we are now needing to get the tumble drier fixed as the start button has snapped...there is always something needing to be sorted!! We have repainting the kitchen and replacing the kitchen cupboard doors on our list next and then replacing the hall carpet. DS1 still needs to get a job and pass his driving test...other that that we are sorted...touch wood!
Wednesday 7 February 2018
If it wasn't for bad luck we'd have no luck at all
This isn't a post as such its just an observation. With the problem with the intruder earlier in the year and DS1 struggling to get a job its really highlighted how much we all expect bad news.
If the phone rings or I get an unexpected letter I tense for bad news. If someone runs downstairs I expect bad news...its not just me we all do it....well that me, DD and DS1.
Its a sad indictment of our lives and how ground down we all are by constant blows. DD has had to close her blog and instagram account and its really been emotionally hard for her. She is acquiring new symptoms and new levels of 'normal' with her pain and life is getting very hard for her. Its happened many times as she has had to come to terms with new restrictions on what she can do and how much life she can have. Its really hard and she is struggling, can't blame her constant pain and no ability to do anything isn't much of a life.
DS1 is getting increasingly depressed by his lack of progress towards a job and some sort of a life outside his room, which makes it hard for him to motivate himself to do anything. Its a vicious circle, I can just hope he does eventually find a job that works for him.
DS2 is also floundering at the moment as the careful plans for next year have fallen apart and we are having to start from scratch again but with limited time. Such is life.
Hardly a surprise we all look for bad news!
If the phone rings or I get an unexpected letter I tense for bad news. If someone runs downstairs I expect bad news...its not just me we all do it....well that me, DD and DS1.
Its a sad indictment of our lives and how ground down we all are by constant blows. DD has had to close her blog and instagram account and its really been emotionally hard for her. She is acquiring new symptoms and new levels of 'normal' with her pain and life is getting very hard for her. Its happened many times as she has had to come to terms with new restrictions on what she can do and how much life she can have. Its really hard and she is struggling, can't blame her constant pain and no ability to do anything isn't much of a life.
DS1 is getting increasingly depressed by his lack of progress towards a job and some sort of a life outside his room, which makes it hard for him to motivate himself to do anything. Its a vicious circle, I can just hope he does eventually find a job that works for him.
DS2 is also floundering at the moment as the careful plans for next year have fallen apart and we are having to start from scratch again but with limited time. Such is life.
Hardly a surprise we all look for bad news!
Thursday 1 February 2018
Another new year.
I have been trying to write a new post for ages, but every time I sit down to start I have to go and do something else.
Christmas was okay but very low key. No one had any enthusiasm and we basically all waited for DP to go back to work. Unfortunately he was off for odd days for the first 2 weeks for 2018 which made life hard for us all. DS2 didn't go back to College until the middle of January which made life hard as he was bored and floppy and refusing to do anything we suggested. DS1 also struggled as he wants a job, at this stage any job but isn't really willing to put any structured effort into getting one. He's also not sorting any of the other stuff he needs to do like getting a driving license, it does annoy me.
To be fair he didn't have a great start to the year, he heard a rustling in his room and being utterly phobic of rodents got DS2 to wake up and fetch me...while he cowered in bed. I couldn't see any signs of anything even though DS2 and I moved loads of boxes and stuff, dusted and moved some stuff out to store elsewhere. Unfortunately there still was a mouse and it fell into DS's bin the following day and died. This left DS absolutely paranoid, understandably and he ended up having to sleep in DD's room for a couple of days. We ended up redecorating his room so we could move everything and reclaim his room and reassure him that there were no intruders lurking anywhere. Fortunately after the second occasion I managed to trace where it had come in and we blocked it off. DS's room does look masses better now its been redecorated so its not all bad.
DD has had a series of pain flares since the start of winter and they show no sign of abating any time soon. She had had to close down her blog and instagram accounts which is a real shame as her photos were getting so much better...she was having them featured by brands fairly regularly and had more than 3,500 followers. She has had a lot of pleasure and fulfilment from her blog...it gave her a reason to get up, get dressed in beautiful clothes, go out. She also has an excuse to buy clothes she loved and treat herself to make up. It made her feel like a contributing member of society. But in the end her M.E. just took over too much and she just couldn't find the energy or brain space to continue. M.E. really sucks.
Other than that its been a fairly quiet new year. Haven't seen my parents particularly which is always a bonus and DM has stayed out of hospital which isn't necessarily good but I don't need to visit which is a plus...to be honest as long as I don't have to deal with her I'm not as excited by the thought of her dying...though it will make me smile whenever it finally happens. Still no contact with my DB which no longer surprises me, I'm not putting any effort into a relationship that's so one sided.
I've also not seen anything of J which is a plus as she is getting increasingly self centred and I really don't have the emotion energy to spare caring about her and her messed up life. Her youngest son has been given no boundaries and as far as I'm concerned he is not a nice or safe person, he apparently wants to have DS2 as a friend again but its not an option as I really don't like or trust him. Its not totally his fault I blame J for being a lazy parent and not pulling up his behaviour when he needed it. She no longer tells me about her drug addict boyfriend but he will still be on the scene. She will get massive inheritances from at least 3 people in the near future and there are no prizes for guessing where a large part of the cash will end up, and its not with her sons. As you can tell I don't have too high an opinion of her...can't think why she doesn't want to come round all the time anymore!
Christmas was okay but very low key. No one had any enthusiasm and we basically all waited for DP to go back to work. Unfortunately he was off for odd days for the first 2 weeks for 2018 which made life hard for us all. DS2 didn't go back to College until the middle of January which made life hard as he was bored and floppy and refusing to do anything we suggested. DS1 also struggled as he wants a job, at this stage any job but isn't really willing to put any structured effort into getting one. He's also not sorting any of the other stuff he needs to do like getting a driving license, it does annoy me.
To be fair he didn't have a great start to the year, he heard a rustling in his room and being utterly phobic of rodents got DS2 to wake up and fetch me...while he cowered in bed. I couldn't see any signs of anything even though DS2 and I moved loads of boxes and stuff, dusted and moved some stuff out to store elsewhere. Unfortunately there still was a mouse and it fell into DS's bin the following day and died. This left DS absolutely paranoid, understandably and he ended up having to sleep in DD's room for a couple of days. We ended up redecorating his room so we could move everything and reclaim his room and reassure him that there were no intruders lurking anywhere. Fortunately after the second occasion I managed to trace where it had come in and we blocked it off. DS's room does look masses better now its been redecorated so its not all bad.
DD has had a series of pain flares since the start of winter and they show no sign of abating any time soon. She had had to close down her blog and instagram accounts which is a real shame as her photos were getting so much better...she was having them featured by brands fairly regularly and had more than 3,500 followers. She has had a lot of pleasure and fulfilment from her blog...it gave her a reason to get up, get dressed in beautiful clothes, go out. She also has an excuse to buy clothes she loved and treat herself to make up. It made her feel like a contributing member of society. But in the end her M.E. just took over too much and she just couldn't find the energy or brain space to continue. M.E. really sucks.
Other than that its been a fairly quiet new year. Haven't seen my parents particularly which is always a bonus and DM has stayed out of hospital which isn't necessarily good but I don't need to visit which is a plus...to be honest as long as I don't have to deal with her I'm not as excited by the thought of her dying...though it will make me smile whenever it finally happens. Still no contact with my DB which no longer surprises me, I'm not putting any effort into a relationship that's so one sided.
I've also not seen anything of J which is a plus as she is getting increasingly self centred and I really don't have the emotion energy to spare caring about her and her messed up life. Her youngest son has been given no boundaries and as far as I'm concerned he is not a nice or safe person, he apparently wants to have DS2 as a friend again but its not an option as I really don't like or trust him. Its not totally his fault I blame J for being a lazy parent and not pulling up his behaviour when he needed it. She no longer tells me about her drug addict boyfriend but he will still be on the scene. She will get massive inheritances from at least 3 people in the near future and there are no prizes for guessing where a large part of the cash will end up, and its not with her sons. As you can tell I don't have too high an opinion of her...can't think why she doesn't want to come round all the time anymore!
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