Am I happy?

This was a question J. asked me last time she was round. She is obviously not at all happy with her life and is making herself very stressed about all kind of things.  I was chatting, in general terms about my life and she just asked the question. I didn't need to think about the answer I am very happy with my life. There is a scene in 'Secret Countess' by Eva Ibbotson where the main character is talking to a child who is unhappy explaining that she...the main character...has lots of reasons she could use to be unhappy but that she chooses to focus on the good bits of her life and be happy.

I have lots of bad stuff in my life, the most obvious is DD who is getting increasingly poorly. DS1 is still showing no discernible signs of applying for jobs never mind getting anything! DS2 is still having behaviour issues and DP is still an arse about DS2's behaviour which only makes the situation worse...I can't think of a single occasion when his intervention has improved a situation but I can think of loads where he's made it a 100 times worse. DM is still alive and still a snide, miserable old woman...I can go on with a massive list, but they aren't the only things that are important.

There is the everyday good stuff, I live in a mostly stable country and have a decent house that cleanish and warm and we have enough food and all that stuff, which is not to be taken for granted. But over and above that I have so many other things that give me pleasure like listening to music, Handel is always good if I need cheering up, and cups of tea and familiar books. The list might not seem much but it doesn't take a lot to make me happy. After all I was born a Yorkshire man so I have already won the lottery of life.

DD had one of her photos from her blog picked up by the company that makes the frock she wore and it proved to be massively popular, it was a good photo but the response was still very unexpected. But that makes her feel as though she is achieving something as she can really believe she is a part of the conversation about diversity, I am immensely proud of her. Someone commented on one of her photos that she looks 'effortlessly beautiful'...2 hours of make up, then getting into her corset and clothes and then the effort of getting to where ever we are taking the photos and all the energy that burns up...its a long way from effortless, but the photos are never going to show all that. The photos are a fantasy world and are very beautiful. All this means she feels even more pressure to make her photos even more professional, which would be easier if her photographer (me) was any good! But she does like the fact her work is being seen. Its a shame its happening as she is getting so tired and in so much pain she is having to look at how much longer she can realistically carry on blogging, but she is making a difference to how visible people in wheelchairs are which is a real achievement for anyone.

DS2 was banned from eating sugar at the end of the summer holidays as his consumption was getting totally out of hand and his level of aggression was similarly out of hand. Strangely without the sugar his behaviour is much the same but his aggression has much less power behind so is not as much of an issue. He can see the difference as much as we can and is actually cooperating with reducing his intake of sugar, not sure how long the benefits will last but I'm enjoying the (relative) peace and quiet.

DS1 is starting, slowly, to get his act together and is starting to apply for stuff...he is an idle toe rag but I am confident he will get himself sorted eventually. DP is as much of an ass as usual but I barely spend any time with him so its no real issue for me. He's at work or out at his class or whatever and I am frequently busy supporting DD, no idea how he views the situation and to be honest, I really don't care. He is free to complain if he wants but I'm not changing...I tried all that many years ago and he wasn't interested then.

My aunt has a 'do' this weekend to which we have been invited and my parents will also have been invited and will certainly be there. I have bribed DS1 to attend with DP and DS2, I will need to stay home and look after DD. My DM will not be happy that I'm not there and I'm sure I'll get passive aggressive phone calls from her or my DF will phone to spout all the rubbish she's been filling his head with. It no longer bothers me and I  am much more difficult to guilt trip. To be fair they have both been leaving me alone for a while now, which is good by me. They can go and annoy my DB if they get bored.

But yes I am happy...my life is basically good and I enjoy lots that I do. J. is choosing to be unhappy...I am obviously a nasty, judgemental bitch but its my blog I can say exactly what I want! She has spent money she doesn't have on her drug addict boyfriend, to the extend she and her family are struggling for money. I have no words for how stupid I think she is, I spend way more than I should on DD in particular but she isn't spending the money on drugs, she is buying stuff to make her life easier and happier, not the same as far as I'm concerned. Also I'm not making life hard for every one else. J. patently enjoys drama and uses 'depression' as an excuse for all the 'failures' of her life. I have little sympathy for that as no ones life goes according to plan but I don't see that as an excuse to be pathetic, not when she is so privileged in so many ways...look for the good stuff and enjoy that is my plan!