Well dad finally managed to get moved. He's very happy in his new flat and is keen to tell me just how much money he has..'more than I can ever spend'..I did suggest he give DS1 some to help him move. Not holding my breath.
DD is continuing to be super careful with what they eat to avoid triggering any more stomach flairs...not so careful this week as they are finally having a period...after 14 months. It's heavy and painful and if ice cream helps then eat it!
DP is doing his new job...he didn't get a works car so had to buy one in a hurry...just what we needed, more expense. He's not doing any work yet but hopefully he'll get some jobs soon and actually have to leave the house occasionally. Having him home all the time is not good, for any of us. He is loud, aggressive, vile to DS2 and just a really unpleasant person to be around. If anyone tries to say anything to him he'll purse up his lips and huff...totally offended anyone would have the temerity to potentially not instantly agree with his total perfection. Really finding him hard to be around...if I only had the money!
Other than that the world continues to be scary and not a lot of fun. Prices continue to increase. DS1 is unlikely to ever be able to afford to move out...how ever much he saves prices are going up faster than his savings. Also he needs a car before he can even look at moving and he's not moving toward sorting a driving license. It's a real shame because he would love to move on...maybe even start dating...though I'm not sure how easy he'd find that given his current size...horrid to say but true.
In America the Republicans are becoming ever more extreme and trying to fix their voter problem by disbarring anyone who doesn't love them from voting, They have abolished abortions in too many states and are are now targeting trans people, drag queens, books, gay marriage...the list goes on. Britain will be next for a lot of it.
It doesn't help that I am increasingly depressed. Not enough to warrant speaking to the doctors for medication...I would never trust any doctor enough to be that honest or vulnerable anyway! But I am finding the world is changing too much...little things like all the new buildings in Leeds and the new road systems. It just doesn't feel like my world anymore...a product of getting old I guess but it's not fun. I keep looking back and seeing the past in roseate colours and more rational, more decent, responsibilities as well as rights. I'm not stupid and I know the past was as messy and hard as the present ...as well as seriously awful for far too many groups. But I'm not getting any real enjoyment out of life...my personal fantasy is to get cancer that allows me to gracefully exit stage left. Not going to happen but I can dream.
DD would also not be unhappy to have terminal cancer...they are discovering they are more trans than they realised and finding their female body hard to love. While they are continuing to loose weight they still weigh 18 stone so are a looong way off being small enough to be androgynous.
So not excited for anything this year...I continue to exist and continue to do all the jobs I need to in order for us all to survive but I'm not experiencing any joy.
Update: well DP continues to be self absorbed and .... vile, rude, objectionable, emotionally abusive... all of these and non. He's deeply unpleasant to be around because his only topic of 'conversation' is himself and what he wants to say. He was away for a week...we all loved it!... DS1 sanded down the kitchen table and oiled it, I repainted the bathroom and did some painting in the kitchen after sorting the damp/mould problem... DP not only totally failed to notice any of this....all very noticeable...but continued to pretend he was planning to sort the kitchen table. He is such an arse...if I had the money I would be overjoyed at being able to get us all out...I have absolutely no respect for him and utterly despise his arrogance...he truly believes he is a genius and beloved by all. He is deluded!
To add to all this the top bathroom has got problems of damp in the floor...who knows how big a problem that will be...oh joys!
I really would welcome a fatal condition...I'm not able to suicide, mostly because I don't have any means and would feel too guilty given both DD and DS2 rely on me...but a health issue...well it wouldn't be my fault so I wouldn't need to feel guilty...
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