My Mum is ill

My mum has smoked for more than 60 years and, unsurprisingly, suffers from chest problems as a result. She has smoked up to 60 a day at some stages and still smokes plenty, even though she is not supposed to be smoking at all.

She had a chest infection last week, quelle surprise, she ALWAYS has a 'chest infection'. She wasn't well but then she's not been well for years and is pretty much house bound unless my Dad takes her out. Well this chest infection turned nasty and she ended up having to be rushed to hospital in an ambulance and having oxygen forced into her lungs for 48 hours as her blood oxygen was so low.

She remembers nothing about this, hardly surprising, so thinks everyone is making a fuss about nothing and is plainly not planning on giving up cigarettes. She is annoyed that the ambulance workers cut off her clothes! She is whinging about all the bruises on her arms from where needles were inserted...okay the bruises look awful but she needs to look at the big picture. She is alive, which was far from certain when she arrived in hospital. She was in Intensive Care for 48 hours! The woman is delusional.

If I am being totally honest I was really disappointed that she recovered. I was very much hoping that she would die...I have been waiting for it for years. She is, as far as I'm concerned, a nasty waste of space. She is very needy and everything has to be about her. She dismisses my DD's illness because it takes attention away from her and means I have an excuse for not living my life according to her script.

The more I look back on my childhood the more aware I become of how manipulative and unpleasant she was. Yet I would still say my childhood was happy...not so much my teenage years and beyond but that's life for you. Mum does like to the centre of attention. Fortunately for her my Dad still thinks she is amazing and is really pleased she recovered and will still be around shouting at him and being offensively rude for a few more years. I am not so pleased but keep all contact to a minimum so its not a major problem for me.